July 2011
31 posts
6 tags
Writing Prompts!
What are some good writing prompts? One of those “Day one - a place you once ate peaches at, but forgot about due to your negligence toward your memories of peaches that you ate” type things.
Jul 1st
1 note
June 2011
42 posts
4 tags
My first day actually waiting on tables was today. I’ve never done it before. I only fucked up one order. Pretty damn good. I also almost spilled 3 glasses of chocolate milk on a woman (but I didn’t!).
Jun 30th
3 notes
4 tags
Haikus about things in my room.
Menu on the floor. I should be studying you. Lazy waiter sits. Kitten. Sleeping. Meow. So I threw a book at it. Cat is not sleeping. Ironing Board Sits On my desk alone. Still. Sad. No pants for you now. Curious Kitten. Pawing at the lit candle. Don’t fucking touch that. Fire fills my bedroom. Menu ignites in flames. God damn it, Kitten.
Jun 30th
7 notes
4 tags
Jun 29th
11,841 notes
3 tags
How on am I able to pocket text with a touch screen? Can this be explained?
Jun 29th
1 note
6 tags
Rush hour traffic in Atlanta is like starting a game of Tetris where the screen is already filled and you get a shoe instead of a block because there’s no way in hell it’s going to fit. Also all the other blocks try to murder you.
Jun 27th
7 notes
4 tags
Jun 27th
1 note
WatchWatch
He’s RAGING WITH ASPERGERS! cracked: Why Batman Is Secretly Terrible for Gotham The latest episode of After Hours features a whole pantheon of Batmen, and they’re all terrible at their jobs.
Jun 27th
66 notes
feminaut asked: kind of upset that lady wouldn't let you have a spiderman mask. because if that was the same facepainting time where you texted ian what you should get, the spiderman mask was my idea.
although the rainbow cat is pretty epic.
Jun 26th
4 tags
Jun 26th
1 note
3 tags
WatchWatch
“Kitten” getting its claws clipped. I’m pretty sure it’s actually an oposum.
Jun 25th
2 notes
4 tags
Jun 25th
8 notes
Jun 25th
1 note
Jun 25th
Jun 25th
2 tags
WatchWatch
I screamed and dropped my phone. I had no idea that they flew.
Jun 24th
3 notes
2 tags
Jun 23rd
4 tags
Jun 23rd
4 tags
Jun 22nd
5 notes
4 tags
Jun 22nd
2 notes
I fucking hate people who agree with everything...
clearmindedfuryx: Fuck it, be different, disagree, WHO GIVES A FUCK, why would you ever compromise who you are and your own opinion just for a pat on the back from someone else? Fuck making other people happy at your own expense be your own person for fucks sake.  I don’t care how many people hate me I will never stop sticking up for shit that I believe in  I AGREE! Wait, I mean- Fuck. NO I...
Jun 22nd
4 notes
3 tags
There needs to be more Alec Baldwin on netflix instant.
Jun 22nd
2 notes
Jun 22nd
3,273 notes
3 tags
Jun 20th
3 notes
3 tags
Anonymous asked: they don't even know if ryan was the one driving.
Jun 20th
3 tags
RIP Ryan Dunn?
How about “RIP The Passenger that died in Ryan Dunn’s car” instead of “RIP the Drunk Driver who killed himself and the passenger”? RIP Ryan Dunn? I can’t even say “at least he didn’t kill anyone else”. That is the best case scenario with drunk driving. Retard.
Jun 20th
3 notes
3 tags
“Oh man, they sell X-boxes at the Apple Store now!”
– Overheard at the Microsoft Store at the Lenox Mall. I don’t blame him, it looks exactly like an Apple Store
Jun 13th
1 note
3 tags
Jun 13th
2 notes
Jun 12th
10 notes
Jun 12th
1 note
3 tags
Jun 8th
1 note
Jun 8th
1 note
17north asked: take it, do it. SOCIAL SIMON.

how is your life, though? really. gosh, we've not talked in 543363 years.
Jun 8th
3 tags
Jun 8th
2 notes
3 tags
Jun 8th
3 notes
Jun 8th
3 tags
Jun 8th
9 notes
1 tag
Jun 8th
1 note
4 tags
Jun 6th
Jun 4th
2 tags
Jun 4th
17 notes
Jun 3rd
139,366 notes