What most people don’t know is that there’s a Chinchilla Mafia, a large organization of chinchillas that regulate the peace in South America. Don’t call it a conspiracy, they hate that. They control the streets, they control the cops, they control everything; it’d be terrifying if it they weren’t so adorable.
The head honchos are Ricky and Randy; they ran the whole scheme till something went awry. Ricky was killed in an incredibly violent (and cute) shoot-out in Chinatown, so Randy was looking for someone to replace his brother. He brought together various other rodents from other gangs; there was Rodney the Rabbit, Mickey the Mouse (who later became a star on his own accord), Robert the Rat, Stewart the Squirrel, and Chuck the Chipmunk (alliteration is big with criminals in South America). The meeting went sour and burst into a horrific gunfight that witnesses claimed to be “adorable”.
It seemed that no one wanted to help run the Chinchilla Mafia, only bring it down. Randy had to prove that the chinchilla mafia still was as hard as it was before losing one of its chief members. He decided to organized a major hit on one of the high members of the De-yang-Rabbit clan. They put together an ambush that the unlucky rabbit couldn’t stay out of, being misled with a large sign promising “Free Carrots” (unfortunately, chinchillas and rabbits can’t read, and by a strange coincidence, what they wrote on the sign just said “John Stamos”).
Since the plan went askew, the Chinchillas threw a laundry basket on the Rabbit’s head. Trapped, the Rabbit told the Chinchillas everything he could about the De-yang-Rabbits; where they worked, where they got their weapons, and what his favorite food was (yogurt drops). Later that day, John Stamos saw his name on a sign above a carrot sitting on a table, he took a bite and was promptly shot to death by 4 chinchillas.
The Chinchillas, due to the Rabbit spilling his guts on his employers, found out that the De-yang-Rabbits work out of the docks downtown. They decided the best way to attack was to savagely storm the building in a move not unlike a police raid, later described as “one of the most adorable things ever”. After the massive battle, the Chinchillas were the victors. The surviving members of the De-yang-Rabbits were pressured into joining forces with the Chinchillas, making an unstoppably cute gang. Everything was going well until Randy was arrested for the murder of John Stamos. It wasn’t that big of an issue, as Randy used his control over the police to let him go, but don’t call it a Conspiracy, they hate that.
Smug Bastards.
