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White Guys should respond to most Rape jokes the way they respond to white-privilege jokes but times ten.

Okay, so I’m flying up to Michigan in a few weeks and driving back to Atlanta. The car doesn’t have a Line-In, so I’m forced to use CDs.

Most Punk albums are only 30-40 minutes, so I can’t fill a CD slot with something that’s a third of a CD’s potential run time. What are the best and longest Single-Disk albums you can think of?

I saw a church with a sign that said “need answers? The bible has more than google”. Yeah, well, the bible is on google books and a quick search of it isn’t telling me how long blue whales live.

I’ve always compared Batman and Iron Man (normal person with no superpower billionaires by day/superheroes by night) but while they are very similar, there are some huge thematic differences.

Batman’s first appearance was in 1939, during America’s Great Depression and to this day, is still a figure of hope during those times. Tragedy begets character, a force of good who fights for everyone. He is a symbol that no matter how bad it becomes, we should still care for one another, help each other out.

His most famous villain is the opposite of this. Joker is built from that same chaos and does nothing but hinder the hope and progress Batman provides. This is shown in many variations of the character from The Killing Joke where his whole plan is to show that in bad situations, evil can form from anyone (he fails) or to The Dark Knight’s climax where he attempts to convince Gotham’s citizens to turn on themselves (he fails). 

Iron Man’s first appearance was in 1963, during the peak of the Vietnam War and was created as a direct response to communism. While maybe not direct propaganda, he a symbol of capitalism. Jack Kirby said he created the character as “the quintessential capitalist”.

His most famous villain is the opposite of this. While Iron Man built all his own suits himself, The Mandarin was given his powers by the simple act of finding the ten rings. He didn’t earn it, he just stumbled upon these powers, given them for free. Even in Iron Man 3, he doesn’t work his way up, he is given the position of Mandarin without having to work for it. 

In a nutshell, while they are very similar characters, at their core the themes they embody are polar opposites:

• Batman’s message is that with enough training, humanity, and will, anyone can become Batman.
• Iron Man’s message is that anyone can become Iron Man (if you have the money).

Turns out in the epilogue of Deathly Hallows Part 2, the entire Harry Potter franchise was just a story Harry told his son to get him to run into a wall at a train station.

OH MY GOD. THAT FUCKING WORKED? YOU RAN RIGHT INTO A BRICK WALL. HOLY SHIT. THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME. Okay, you’re going to public school, get back in the car.

I just had a peanut butter, jelly, and peanut brittle sandwich.

I’ll be taking that nobel peace prize now.

tobeymacguire:

when straight guys ask how lesbian sex works i feel really bad for their girlfriends because if you dont understand how to have sex with a girl in any way other than repeatedly putting your dick in her you are having some really bad sex

welcome to the first restaurant in space orbiting Earth where you can see stunning views of the planet that no patrons have ever seen before, can i start you off with something to drink?

“Can I get a coke?”

I’m sorry, we serve Pepsi here

“Fuck this, I’m going to mcdonalds”